018 : Loving Your Mom-Bod This Summer Season
This Week on the Refined Sisterhood:
“Mamas, Has the may 1st panic set in? Does thinking about bathing suit season terrify you? If you said yes to either one of those questions, we are right there with you. So many things change during pregnancy: hormoneS change, body changes, weight changes, and so on and so on. we are ready to get real, raw, and transparent with you about the relationship we have with our bodies after having a baby and how the lord is changing the posture of our hearts. if you are ready to feel not so alone, this episode is for you.”
To kick off today’s episode maddie shares that she is doing really well today because keegan slept through the night for the second time this week and that is a mirrracle. It only took almost a year but he finally did it.
kaitlin tells listeners that she is also doing well and in a great mood, and that her son has slept through the night every night since he was about three months old, so she got really lucky in that area. kaitlin also shares that she has been eating really healthy the last few weeks and she feels really energized because of that.
maddie shares that today’s episode will cover how both she and kaitlin viewed their bodies before having a baby was on their minds, during pregnancy, and through the stages of postpartum that they have already walked through.
kaitlin kicks the topic off by talking about the issues she had with her body image when she was younger and HOW her body image wasn’t horrible, AND she was a stick, but she still had her struggles. because of this, she often got comments from people saying that she needed to gain weight, but kaitlin never felt that way about herself. but, because of these comments, she never felt comfortable in a bathing suit.
when she started college, kaitlin gained more than just the freshman fifteen and gaining “so much” weight was really draining on her mental health. then, she became really negative about her body image. but, she worked through that and became much more confident in who she was in her body leading up to getting pregnant.
maddie shares that she was always the small girl, considering that she is only five feet tall. but besides height, she has always been the smallest one in her friend group and was always told how tiny she was.
when maddie began going through puberty IN MIDDLE SCHOOL she started to struggle with her body image and view herself in a more negative light. despite people telling her how tiny she was, maddie still didn’t like what she saw when she looked in the mirror. maddie shares that she had a terrible relationship with her body where she never felt like it was good enough.
maddie shares that when she got pregnant she remembers thinking that she was going to see a number on the scale that was going to be terrifying and she needed to prepare herself for that.
kaitlin asks maddie: “When you got pregnant, was the scale really important to you?”
maddie shares that her relationship with the scale was toxic before pregnancy and she always needed the number she saw when she looked to go down and not up. so when she started gaining weight from her pregnancy she told herself at one doctors appointment that if she hit 150lbs that she was going to be so upset.
at every doctors appointment after this, maddie asked the nurse to weigh herself backwards so that she could not see the number and that this became so much healthier for her.
kaitlin shares that for her, during pregnancy, gaining weight was not her issue because she had ALREADY been through gaining a lot of weight at one time. kaitlin was more concerned with the stretch marks that were coming from being pregnant, or how her skin was going to look when she was physically pregnant. luckily, kaitlin never had any moments where she stepped on the scale and was disappointed in what she saw.
“my weight is nothing except my gravitational pull to the earth” -KAITLIN
KAITLIN SHARES THAT SHE ACTUALLY ENJOYED GETTING BIGGER WITH PREGNANCY BECAUSE SHE HAS IBS AND WAS ALWAYS BLOATED BEFORE PREGNANCY, BUT BEING PREGNANT MEANT THAT SHE HAS A REASON TO BE GETTING BIGGER.
FOR ONE EXAMPLE OF HOW SHE VIEWED HER BODY WHEN PREGNANT,, KAITLIN SHARES THAT AROUND TWENTY WEEKS PREGNANT SHE GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER AND LOOKED AT HER BELLY AND SAW ALL OF THE LITTLE RED STRETCH MARKS AND THAT DESTROYED HER—SHE SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT CRYING OT HER HUSBAND ABOUT IT. turns OUT, IT WASN’T EVEN STRETCH MARKS YET, IT WAS JUST MARKS FROM HER SHOWER BEING SO HOT.
KAITLIN SHARES THAT THE BIGGER HER BUMP GOT THE MORE SHE WAS HAPPY WITH HER BODY BECAUSE IT BECAME LESS ABOUT HER BODY AND MORE ABOUT HER BABY.
MADDIE SHARES THAT SHE HAD A SIMILAR MOMENT IN HER PREGNANCY WHERE SHE GOT OUT OF THE BATHTUB AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND ABSOLUTELY HATED WHAT SHE SAW. MADDIE SAYS THAT SHE CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED AND TALKED TO HER HUSBAND AND KAITLIN AND WAS ABLE TO PULL HERSELF OUT OF THAT. AND THEN AS TIME MOVED ON IN HER PREGNANCY SHE BEGAN TO GROW SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE IN HER PREGNANT BODY.
KAITLIN SHARES THAT IN HER THIRD TRIMESTER SHE DEVELOPTED AN ISSUE IN HER FEET WHERE IT HURT SO BAD FOR HER TO WALK AND SHE WAS LIKE “SCREW MY BODY, I JUST WANT MY FEET TO GO BACK TO NORMAL.”
IN EARLY PREGNANCY THERE ARE UNCOMFORTABLE INBETWEEN MOMENTS WHERE PEOPLE CAN’T REALLY TELL IF YOU ARE PREGNANT OR NOT AND YOU ARE VERY AWARE OF THAT AND HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT MAKES YOU. BUT THE FURTHER ALONG YOU GET, THE MORE AWARE YOU ARE THAT IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT AND YOU GROW TO BE MORE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY BECAUSE OF YOUR BUMP.
MADDIE SHARES THAT SHE DIDN’T GET STRETCH MARKS UNTIL AFTER SHE HAD KEEGAN AND THAT HERS ON HER BOOBS BUT THAT SHE COULDN’T HAVE CARED LESS. WHICH SURPISED HER BECAUSE PRE-PREGNANCY SHE WOULD HAVE FREAKED OUT, BUT NOW SHE DOESN’T CARE BECAUSE THOSE STRETCH MARKS MEAN SHE GAVE HER BABY LIFE.
WE LIVE IN A CULTURE WHERE YOU HAVE TO BOUNCE BACK RIGHT AFTER YOU HAVE A BABY. IT IS GLORIFIED TO LOOK LIKE YOU DIDN’T JUST GIVE BIRTH AND THAT IS TOXIC AND PLACES A LOT OF PRESSURE ON NEW MOMS.
MADDIE SHARES THAT SHE REMEMBERS BEING IN THE HOSPITABLE AND LOOKING AT HER BODY AND SHE HAD SHRUNK DOWN A LOT REALLY QUICKLY, BUT SHE STILL WANTED HER BODY TO LOOK THE SAME AS IT DID BEFORE SHE GOT PREGNANT AND THOSE THOUGHTS STARTED TO ROB HER OF THE JOY SHE HAD FROM HAVING KEEGAN.
KAITLIN AGREES THAT SHE ALSO REMEMBERS SEEING HERSELF IN THE HOSPITAL AND THINKING “DANG I LOOK GOOD” AND WAS PROUD OF HERSELF. BUT, ONCE SHE GOT HOME, SHE SHRANK DOWN TO SMALLER THAN SHE WAS BEFORE SHE HAD BECKETT AND SHE WASN’T REALLY PAYING MUCH ATTENTION TO HER BELLY BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T REALLY HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT HER BODY IMAGE DUE TO HER FIGHTING THE PHYSICAL PAIN THAT CAME FROM HAVING A c-SECTION. AROUND THEN, KAITLIN BEGAN WEARING A BELLY BAND TO PUSH THINGS BACK TOGETHER AND SHE BEGAN FEELING BETTER ABOUT HOW SHE LOOKED UNTIL ABOUT THREE OR FOUR MONTHS INTO POSTPARTUM WHEN SHE STARTED SLOWELY GAINING WEIGHT.
AROUND THE FIRST OF THIS YEAR kAITLIN WEIGHED HERSELF AND SHE HAD GAINED ABOUT TEN POUNDS SINCE HAVING HER BABY AND SHE HAD TO EVALUATE HOW SHE FELT ABOUT THAT.. SHE ALSO SHARES THAT SHE HAD A CONSTANT BATTLE OF FEELING GOOD ABOUT HER BODY BECAUSE SHE CARRIED A BABY, YET IT FELT HORRIBLE WHEN NOTHING FIT HER FROM HER OLD CLOTHES AND SHE FELT LIKE SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SHOP FOR HER “NEW” BODY.
MADDIE CHIMES IN AND SAYS THAT AS IT GETS WARMER OUT IT BECOMES INCREASINGLY MORE DIFFICULT TO BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR POSTPARTUM BODY, ESPECIALLY IN A BATHING SUIT. MADDIE ALSO SHARES THAT A FEW WEEKS AGO SHE WENT TO THE MALL AND TRIED ON BATHINGSUITS, WHICH SHE KNEW WAS GOING TO BE TOXIC, BUT SHE LEARNED THAT SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW SHE FELT ABOUT HER BODY ANYMORE BECAUSE IT LOOKED DIFFERENT THAN IT DID PRE-BABY. MADDIE’S HUSBAND TOLD HER THAT SHE IS GOING TO LOOK DIFFERENT AND THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE SHE GAVE THEIR SON LIFE.
KAITLINS SHARES THAT THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT HATE YOUR BODY AND THAT SHE HAS TO REMIND HERSEL OF THAT DAILY BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO ACCEPT THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET YOUR BODY BACK.
EVERYONE’S STORY IS DIFFERENT BUT NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE TRUTHS THAT THE LORD GIVES US THAT MADDIE AND KAITLIN HOPE ENCOURAGE YOU.
YOU NEED TO NURTURE YOUR BODY AND BUY THE SIZE UP AND DO ALL OF THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU JOYFUL WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
REMEMBER THAT WHAT YOU FILL YOUR MIND WITH WILL DICTATE THE WAY THAT YOUR BRAIN THINKS.
HOW GOD VIEWS YOUR BODY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HOW YOU DO.
TALK TO YOURSELF IN WAYS THAT SPEAK LIFE AND NOT DEATH.
GOD ACCEPTS YOU AS YOU ARE: IN HIS EYES YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE. WHY CAN’T THAT BE ENOUGH?
THERE IS TIME TO REVEL IN WHAT GOD CAN DO THROUGH YOU AND THAT TIME IS NOW.
MADDIE AND KAITLIN END THE EPISODE BY ENCOURAGING LISTENERS TO WALK INTO THE SUMMER SEASON WITH JOY AND DO NOT LIVE IN FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU. BABIES DO NOT CARE WHAT WE LOOK LIKE AND THEY LOVE US NO MATTER WHAT THE SCALE OR MIRROR TELLS US.
EPHESIANS 2:10 “FOR WE ARE GODS MASTERPIECE created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
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Thank you SO much for being here. We hope you leave today feeling more encouraged than you were when you started listening and like you are a welcome part of this community— because you ARE.If you want to connect with us and other listeners in the Refined Sisterhood community, join our Facebook group here.
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Music : Better Than Life by Oliver Dodge