010 : Pursuing Real Christ-Filled Friendships
We believe that having Christ at the center is the most important thing in having deep, lasting, and intentional friendships. In today’s episode, we are inviting you into a conversation with two best friends (aka us) where we talk about the benefits of a Christ-filled friendship, some hard seasons of our friendship, and how you can tangibly find those Christ-filled friendships in your life. If you are longing for those intentional friendships, but don’t know where to start, you are in the right place and this is the episode for you!
today’s episode dives into not only the story of how maddie and kait became friends, but also how to pursue christ-filled relationships in your own life.
kaitlin explains that the first time she ever met maddie was in the cafeteria of their college, north Greenville university, where maddie came RUNNING UP TO KAITLIN, EXPRESSING HOW EAGER SHE HAD BEEN TO MEET HER. MADDIE MAKES A SIDENOTE THAT SHE IS NO LONGER THE BUBBLY GIRL SHE WAS BACK THEN, BUT THAT SHE WAS SO EXCITED TO MEET KAITLIN BECAUSE KAITLIN WAS DATING ONE OF MADDIE’S BEST FRIENDS SINCE SHE WAS FIVE, HUNTER. (SPOILER ALERT: KAITLIN AND HUNTER ARE NOW MARRIED AND STILL BESTIES WITH MADDIE AND HER HUSBAND SHAUN).
MADDIE AND SHAUN WERE NOT DATING AT THE TIME, BUT MADDIE WAS STILL ESTATIC TO MEET KAITLIN. WHEN SHAUN AND MADDIE DID START DATING, THE TWO COUPLES WENT ON LOTS OF DOUBLE DATES AND A SEEMIGLY FORCED FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOMED INTO WHAT IT IS NOW— TRUE FRIENDSHP.
KAITLIN SHARES THAT LONG BEFORE SHE EVER MET MADDIE SHE HAD PRAYED FOR A FRIENDSHIP THAT WAS TRULY FOCUSED AROUND THE LORD AND THAT HER FRIENDSHIP WITH MADDIE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THAT FOR HER.
KAITLIN BEGINS THE DISCUSSION OF CHRIST-FILLED FRIENDSHIPS BY DISCUSSING THE BENEFITS THESE RELATIONSHIPS OFFER:
GRACE—WE ARE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE BEST VERSIONS OF OURSELVES—OUR FLESH WILL SHOW BUT CHRIST-FILLED FRIENDSHIPS OFFER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
ACCOUNTABILITY— AS FRIENDS IN FLESH AND SISTERS IN CHRIST WE HAVE TO HOLD EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE FOR HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES, WHICH IS NOT ALWAYS EASY. YOUR FRIENDS POINT YOU BACK TO WHO YOU ARE AND REMIND YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
NEVER QUESTIONING IF YOU ARE ENOUGH—HAVING A FRIENDSHIP FOUNDED ON THE LORD IS A BLESSING WHEN IT COMES TO CONSISTENTLY FEELING LOVED. YOUR FRIENDS WILL SHOW YOU GRACE AND HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE IN A WAY THAT NEVER MAKES YOU QUESTION IF YOU ARE ENOUGH.
AUTHENTICTY—YOU CAN JUST BE REAL WITH SOMEONE. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE MEAN OR RUDE, BUT YOU HAVE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN GO TO AND BE RAW, BRUTAL, AND HONEST WITHOUT FEARING REJECTION.
MADDIE SHIFTS THE CONVERSATION INTO TIMES IN SHE AND KAITLIN’S FRIENDSHIP THAT WERE NOT ALWAYS SO PRETTY IN ORDER TO ILLUSTRATE THAT NO FRIENDSHIP IS PERFECT.
KAITLINS SHARES THAT ONE ROCKY TIME IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP OCCURED BECAUSE THEY BOTH ALLOWED OTHER PEOPLE TO PLANT THE LIES OF THE ENEMY IN THEIR HEADS. The bottom line was that both maddie and kait allowed the enemy into their minds. maddie shares that going back to that time in her life she knows that her relationship with the lord was not where it should have been and she knows that played a role in the entire situation.
kaitlin shares that the two are talking about a time where maddie was mad at kaitlin, but kait was unaware and was experiencing a really lonely season of life. which lead maddie to feel like every thing kaitlin did was to spite her, which was so far from the truth of the matter. maddie shares that she did not want to talk to kaitlin at the time, and because she was poorly communicating things could have absolutely blown up and ruined their friendship. but it did.
the two also share that they went through a season of competition, which was within the same general time frame as the aforementioned story. both maddie and kaitlin work in then same industry and when they would get mad at each other and do things in their businesses to spite each other.
by the end of it, kaitlin’s husband called her out on her and maddie’s relationship being a competition and the two ended up having an hours long conversation where they both cried, talked, and apologized for letting the devil into their hearts and minds. both maddie and kait owned up to what they had done over time and they began to dissect the situation and realize that they should be going at life together and not against one another.
humility plays a huge role in your relationships because it is important that we apologize for our actions and own up o what we have down in order for their to be grace and forgiveness.
even if you have a christ-centered friendship already, and you have tried and failed and let your flesh show, there is still grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love. come back to the place where your friendship is of the lord. learn from your past mistakes and realize that you do not have to compete with your friends.
maddie offers some tangible ways to find christ-filled friendships:
pray for the friendships that you seek—something that is beyond surface level.
join our facebook page, social media, or other groups where you can engage with you other christian women.
get plugged in at church and find friends that love the lord.
AS ALWAYS, MADDIE AND KAIT SHARE THAT THEY WOULD LOVE YOU BE YOUR FRIENDS AND TO CONNECT WITH YOU!
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Thank you SO much for being here. We hope you leave today feeling more encouraged than you were when you started listening and like you are a welcome part of this community— because you ARE.If you want to connect with us and other listeners in the Refined Sisterhood community, join our Facebook group here.
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Music : Better Than Life by Oliver Dodge